I know!
On with the show....
Some women have a serious problem with shoes. Some women go batshit bonkers over jewelery. Some women have problematic purse addictions. I know a girl who used to RENT purses. Seriously. Kudos to whoever came up with the idea of a purse rental agency and profiting from the crazy that comes over us women.
I don't go nutty balls over any of those things.
I'm simple. Rational, even? (When it comes to my girly needs) Easy as pie.
Mmmmm Pie....
No, my addiction isn't pie.
It's lip gloss.
Glorious-wondrous-shimmery-delectable-make-a-girl-feel-like-a-million-bucks lip gloss.
It's always been well known among my friends that I have an addiction to lip gloss. It doesn't even have to be gloss, It can be chap stick too. But so what, It's just lip gloss. Right? Who cares if I pack around anywhere from, oh, 2-19 different lip glosses with me at a time.
The one I use could depend on my mood, my eyeshadow, my outfit, if I want color, if I don't want color, sticky vs. non-sticky, smell good vs. plumpers. I mean, come on, a girl needs options.
Naturally, I started holding my purses up to higher standards. When shopping for one, it must be equipped with plenty of pouches to store all my little treasures.
That's when I knew I was starting to go a weeeeee-bit over board.
So.
I kiboshed the purse thing.
That's right, all I carried was a wallet.
My black, little worn-to-shreds, Volcom wallet.
I could fit one lip gloss by my check book and one lip gloss in the coin pouch.
Two.
Two is good.
Two isn't over board. It's a compromise, right?
I can deal with two.
Then I started noticing that lip glosses were popping up everywhere.
In every pair of jeans I'd put on, I'd find a tube of magic.
Every hoodie I'd wear, there, in the little hoodie pouch, I'd reach in and find awesome in a tube.
My camera case.
My gym bag.
My car.
My coat. (I found 5 through out all the pockets)
Lord knows I don't need any more of this shit but when I see a new flavor of my favorite glosses I have to have them! I MUST!
Plus, It's only lip gloss.
Some women's habits can be much more costly than mine. My usual dose of glossiness awesome usually runs about $15.00 for 3.
Or if I'm feeling like a racy, naughty little minx, I'll splurge and go anywhere between $18.00-$20.00 (But that's for the good shit)
I know, You're thinking "20 bucks on lip gloss, this bitch be crazy"
Shut up. It makes me feel pretty.
And it's waaaaay more cost effective than therapy to deal with self image issues.
See, I bargain.
Let a girl get her pretty fix.
I know plenty of women who spend their money on fake nails every 3 weeks. They spend anywhere from 30-35 bucks on their sloth talons, that house so many icky germs underneath that there's probably an entire germy community, building mud-huts and trading donkeys for prostitutes.
Dirty.
Where was I??
Oh, right. Problem. Addiction. Me. Yeah yeah...
So. This week my work-techy-pal set me up with 2 monitors at my desk. It's pretty much the balls, Except it put a cramp in my style and made me re-arrange my desk.
As I was cleaning, I was making piles. Grouping off office supplies, UPS shipping supplies, All my many binders, protractors, compasses, Texas instrument t-21-I-10Th power calculators, old world globes, Webster dictionaries, muscle and fitness mags and lip glosses.
I noticed my group of little pretties growing, and growing, and growing.....
Twenty eight. I know you're going to count. There's 28 different lip paraphernalia there.
I'm a cancer. I like sparkly, pretty, shiny things and I like storing my little treasures away.
My name is Erica, and I have a problem.
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