She got me the CHI Ceramic Iconic Hair Dryer.
(This is where I'd probably concoct some dirty comment about getting the best blow job ever for Christmas, But............ I'll refrain.) You're welcome, Mother-in-law.
It says that it's made in China.
I'm completely convinced it was crafted purely by the hands of Jesus.
Not only was it made by him, I'm pretty sure he lives inside this bitchin iconic orgasmic hair dryer. I looked down the barrel of this magnificent piece of equipment and there was a complete miniature fantasy world, set up by Jesus himself that had mini everything. Shetland ponies, mini coopers, mini golf courses, mini fridges with little mini beers and go-gurts inside, mini ninjas, mini pigs and hot virgins in mini skirts. Jesus looked up from his mini laptop long enough for me to thank him for, indeed, being one helluva miracle worker.
Miracles are exactly what I need when these are the locks I've been so naturally blessed with.
Thanks to the CHI Ceramic Iconic-bonerific Hair Dryer, My Chi flat iron and hair serum-lube, the "Dianna Ross do-on-a-white-girl" you see above, instantly *Read: forty five minutes worth of precious time* transforms into smooth, sleek, non frizzy, straight hair.
This is me, Professing my "Endless love" to all products CHI.
Oh, and Jesus.
Chinese Jesus.
*
