Crazy Aunt.

You always hear stories about someones crazy aunt. I, Myself, Do not have any of these stories. My dad only has one sister and I've never really been very close to his side of the family. She's nice enough, Seems normal, Always has off the wall, funky shoes. It's safe to say I like her.


My mom only had one sister. She's pretty bad ass. I vaguely remember doing shit with her when I was younger, but it hasn't been until recently that we've gotten a lot closer. I realized we should have done this much sooner because she's totally rad. She accepts my vulgarity, totally bitchin' sarcastic attitude towards life, and she laughs at all my dry humor and dirty jokes. She even tried a sip of my beer one night at a girls sushi outing.


It never really occurred to me that I might be some one's aunt one day. I'm an only child. I don't have brothers or sisters to shit out kids to make me an aunt. Then I got married. Now I have 2 Brothers. I leave off the "In laws" Because they've truly proven to be the annoying little brothers I've always felt I've missed out on.


I remember meeting them for the very first time. I had primped, powdered and glossed for hours. It's normal to want your boyfriends brothers to think you're smokin' hot upon meeting you, right? Anywho, We all decided to go to dinner. We were all in the car for about 3 minutes when the youngest brother decided to rip the meanest, wettest, juiciest fart in the back seat. My eyes bunged out of my head and then I felt them start to burn due to the exposure of the hazardous waste gas that was fumigating the car at that moment. I sacrificed my perfectly primped hair for fresh air by riding with the windows down for a good 5-7 minutes.


They are my brothers.


The middle brother married a total Badass-Biatch last year. They popped out a child, hence making me an aunt. I've already self proclaimed me as the "Best Aunt Ever." I think they're OK with it. They let me have total V.I.A (Very important aunt) Privileges. Like, giving the little squirt his first lollipop! Yeah, I totally got to do that. I'm sure I'll be the one to give the tike his first beer too. I'm also pretty sure that I'll be the crazy aunt to all this kid's stories. I might even start pinching his cheeks now and continue to do so until he's 37.















Love you Rykee baby! - I'm not letting go of that mushy name either. He will be called Rykee baby until I die.

Sincerely,

Crazy Aunt Erica.

To answer the question of what the fuck is on my head, Yeah, It's totally Rykee Baby's pants.

Rock on.