A Valentines Day railing.

It's 3:00am. I'm driving home after a long night of moonlighting at the local pub. It's late but I'm still totally hopped up from the neon lighting, blaring of karaoke speakers, five hour energy shot and the redline pill I took at 10:30.



I turned off the highway with excitement knowing I had a big fat greasy floribertos burrito and a ice cold beer waiting for me at home to help me wind down.



Yes, my night cap involves a 4 pound burrito. Don't judge me.



My eyes are set on the road. My stomach is growling. Mama's ready for her burrito when SLAM!



"Ohmigod. What was that?! Did I just hit a garbage can?! Oh shit, I took someones mailbox out. No, no... Couldn't have. Nothing was in front of me. Think Erica, THINK!"



"Vampires?! Werewolves?! That damn wolf man movie is out. I bet it was a werewolf. Is it following me?!"



Now is when I decide it's an OK idea to call husband.



"Husband. I hit something. I hit something in my car."



Husband: "Well what was it?"



"Well if I knew I wouldn't be calling it SOMETHING! I didn't see ANYTHING. Nothing was in front of me. Something slammed into me and shook my entire car! Sounded like it hit my passenger side toward the back of my car. I think I'm being followed by pissy werewolves."



Husband: *sigh* "I'll meet you outside"



"BRING SILVER BULLETS!"



I pull in to my garage. Husband comes out, We both walk around to the other side of my car to see what kind of damage my poor, beat to shit SUV had sustained. Sure enough, a big'ole hunk of my bumper had been knocked out and I had scrapes down the side of my car.



That's when I saw it.



Hair.



NOT human.



Hair in the cracks of the bumper and in my tire wheel well.



"Babe, look, hair! Think it's werewolf hair?"



"No, I'm pretty sure you just scared a deer and it ran from it's shadow into your car"



"You mean to tell me, some cute little precious deer was just napping in the snow and when I turned off the highway I scared it so the fucker ran INTO MY CAR!? If it was scared why didn't it run away from me instead of railing poor rodeo?"



Sigh.



Not the kind of railing I had in mind for Valentines.