Just like the news, not very funny.. But rather a catch-up of sorts on current events.

My mind has been in a indifferent place lately. A good man was laid to rest on the 23rd of October. He passed away unexpectedly in a pretty crazy accident. I bar tended for him on a pretty regular basis and got to know him pretty well. He also had me do some title work for him and from time to time he'd stop by my office just to steel a kiss or a hug. Death is such a weird thing. Grief is even weirder. Death seems to bring people closer. And I'm not sure there's any sort of normal grieving pattern out there. From time to time I get struck with left hooks of emotion. Last Wednesday I got socked in the face. The husband and I were at a party and all of a sudden I had the most overwhelming urge to visit my mothers grave. Like, it was a freaking emergency! I had to go then. As the most supportive, understanding and awesome husband Brad is, he loaded me into the car and drove me to the cemetery. At 11:00 at night. We meandered through the graveyard, and we made our way toward the back. It was then I realized I couldn't find where she was buried. I had no idea where the fuck to find my mothers dead body at. Talk about enhancing the grief induced breakdown. Brad was so patient and calmed me down. He got his phone flash light app out and we found her little headstone shortly after. I had a pretty embarrassingly awesome fit. I spewed out every single angry, resentful and sad thought I'd ever had about her. I yelled, I bawled and I punched the shit out of her headstone. And even though it was slightly embarrassing looking back, I wouldn't relive the night given the chance. I got a lot of little dark demons released from my mind and I feel like it gave Brad a fuck load little more insight as to why I may be the way I am sometimes. We're talking NO filter here people. Let's fast forward 10 days. I had just sent Brad a text to let him know, in case he didn't already, what big of assholes our cat's are and that we needed to find them new homes. His reply? "I just got T-boned in the canyon" * Disclaimer--Not due to texting. My text was the first thing he saw when he came to. Thank ali-godda-budaah-universe that he was OK. He got his bell rung pretty good and ended up with a pretty gnarly concussion. The car got totaled out a week after replacing a $200.00 backFREAKINGwindow, The insurance place didn't pay the damn loan off and we're into a salvaged title car $800.00 in parts alone for something that wasn't even our fault. SUPER. However, aside from being dumbed down to my level for a week or so, the husband is back to his smart-ass charming self and that is all that matters. I will totally miss our engaging conversation about shiny objects, unicorns and puppies though. Let's fast forward to this last Monday. I SLICED THE MOTHER PISS OUT OF THE BACK OF MY HAND WITH A RAZOR BLADE. I was cleaning up some liquor bottles for a few orders that had came in for Christmas. I soak them in hot, soapy water and then use a hand held razor scraper to remove the paper and plastic labels from the glass. I know to go away from my body....I'm not a flippin' retard, but this damn devil patron bottle label wasn't budging. I re-adjusted to get a better angle and so I could apply heavier pressure and then I slipped, punching the back of my hand holding the bottle with a razor blade. I gasped. Grabbed paper towels and next thing I knew Brad was right by my side. Frantically calling around to see if "THERE IS ANYONE AVAILABLE TO SEW MY WIFES HAND BACK TOGETHER" He was so cute and helpful. He sped to the hospital and watched me with worried, woozy eyes as the doctor watched my tendons move to make sure I hadn't sliced them. I got sewn up 2 1/2 hours later and was taken home by the most concerned, nurturing husband on this planet. He even finished cooking the dinner I was in the middle of before installing permanent track marks on the back of my hand, and he finished scraping all my bottles. He even reached into the blood water. Which brings me to today. I know I missed the bus on the whole "It's Thanksgiving, let's blab about all the shit we're thankful for once a year and then act like complete assholes the other 364 days" But over the course of the last 8 weeks I've had so many thoughts and memories running through my mind just bare with me. I'm so thankful for Brad. I am one seriously lucky gal to have him as my husband. He's thoughtful and caring. He's genuine and unique. He's brilliant and beautiful. He knows me like the back of his hand and isn't afraid to call me out on my bullshit from time to time. (which, i'll admit was strangely one of the things that attracted me to him) We've seen our share of ups and downs over the last 10 years but I couldn't be more grateful that we've both had enough fight in us to keep our shit together and today we stand stronger than ever. I look forward to the rest of life's ups and downs. I know they'll be great, As long as we're together.

There's not a day that goes by that I'm not thankful for my mother. Obviously for squishing me out of her vagina, but without her I wouldn't have half the sense of humor I have today. I wouldn't know as much pain, or grief, or feel as much passion in life. I wouldn't have such strong family values and have built impenetrable friendships. I wouldn't be me. I have a phenomenal father who has taught me hard work, determination and to not be an asshole. He's been dealt one shitty hand and he always seems to find the best in things and laugh at life. He puts everyone before himself and he's one of the funnest, best dudes I know. Speaking of family values I can't thank enough of my lucky stars to have married into the family I did. For the first time in a long time there's a sense of normal restored into my life. A mom AND a dad. Obnoxious brothers that walk by and mess up your hair and sometimes make you cry, but you know that they love you. A sisterinlaw that can't even be called a sisterinlaw because she's your friend. The most adorable and shockingly handsome nephew, that's full of energy and stories. A niece that is one hell of handful and super difficult but she's the prettiest little girl I've ever met and her cheesy grin gives my uterus warm little tingles. I can't wait for the day we can talk about boys and go shopping on a girls day out and make her be the DD. :) My mother and father in law, who also can't be considered "in-laws" because they're more like our best friends. Family time isn't what it probably is to most families. It's complete batshit crazy fun. I don't dread going to the in-laws. I actually look so forward to it that sometimes I bug them to hang out. We go to so many fun and new places together, we go out and get nuts, we stay in and get even nuttier. We experience life together. They've been the only normal family dynamic I've ever really known. They even include my dad. And just like I said with Brad, I look forward to the shit life throws at us and all the good and bad times to come because I know no matter what, in the end everything will be ok because we've all got each other. We have one bitchin family unit, And for someone who hasn't had that her whole life, it's a pretty fucking big deal. Here's to more Weekends in Wendover, Trips to Jackson to battle wicked whitewater, countless weekends together at Bear Lake floating our cares away and tearing up the water with wave runners, to nights around fire pits, old people music concerts, dinners, To life, to love, get togethers of all sorts and overall dysfunctional family fun. And with these peeps as your family, who can blame me? I wouldn't have it any other way. You'll never know what you are all to me. You'll never know how much you all have saved me. You all are my world and I wish I could put into words the amount of love I have for our crazy, funky, awesome family.