My ability to love small children seems to be increasing. Shhh... Don't tell anyone.

I remember your first few days here. Two Christmas's ago you were all bundled up in a white and red striped bundler-thingy with a matching beanie to boot. People went crazy shit all over you. Every one's eyes were zombiefied and drool was seeping out of their mouths while playing tug of war over this brand new bundle of joy. Which, is fine, if you're into that sort of thing. Personally, I could have taken or left you. I had a margarita that was bringing me way more joy than you that night. Now you turn the big 02 on Tuesday and it's your 3rd Christmas go around. You're saying words like "Santa, Nana, love you, Papa, Casey, Brad, watch and my personal favorite, the one you beller out non-stop: euh-cah! (Erica)". Which, in all honesty never gets old and couldn't melt my heart more. You've developed the cutest 2 year old personality I know. You're such a charmer. You've single handily wrapped me around your little finger. So, to my most favorite, adorable, ladies man, Happy Birthday little buddy. See you tonight! I'll bring the keg and we'll start working on words like "assclown, bastard, pudwhack and douche nozzle" Luh you.

and no, my new overpriced fancy phone can't fucking capitalize.

in case anyone is curious if its humanly possible to work 20 long, hard hours and then come home to take a hot shower while drinking a cold beer, then a shot of whiskey with half an ambien for a 3:00am snack and still wake up six, very short hours later and be kinda sorta coherent..... it is!

Zombies are really who's to blame.

Hey. Hello... It's me. I know it's been a while. You were all probably wondering if my blogging soul had died.
It did.
Kinda.
I don't have much time but I wanted to check in with ya'll. This blog has totally gone down the shitter. There's no one to blame but myself. I just don't have the time or energy anymore. Not to mention all my humor, wit and charm has totally been sucked out of me.
My big girl job has been stressful.
It's pretty much a fun hating, humor sucking zombie that pays you.
Which is OK. There's just been some casualties along the way.
I may be able to check in with you all more often now. I had to get a new phone because my old one got hit by a car. I'm pretty sure I can blog from it, so hopefully there will be more posts to come. Until then please enjoy this bulleted list of awesome key points that have happened over the last 97 days.

..................................................YEAH.
MY POINT EXACTLY. I CAN'T EVEN FINISH A POST.

Fuck.

Gotta go now. Sorry folks.