This week can go right back to where it came from. And it's only Tuesday.

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Destination Heaven: 20 miles south, Bitch.

I've become disturbingly aware of what a small town I live in.
I'm taking a day off tomorrow and I'm going 20 miles south to a bigger town and I couldn't be more stoked about it.
A town that has a TARGET.
I love Target but I never ever ever get to go there.
I work six days a week and on my one and only day off the last thing I want to do is leave the house.
Or shower.
Or much of anything.
So, tomorrow, I'm taking the day.
I'm pulling another one of my infamous 20 hour work days today so tomorrow I plan on sleeping a full EIGHTmotherfucking hours, having an awesome workout, getting ready at my own pace... Who knows, I might even treat myself to a deep conditioning treatment.
Tomorrow I have TIME to MYSELF to do whatever I please with.

Tomorrow I'm going to Target and Home depot and Zurchers and A BOOK STORE and maybe pier ONE and maybe wherever ELSE seems AWESOME. I don't know, I don't know how crazy I'm gonna feel.
I'm completely uninhibited.
Did I use that word right?

The point is, is that I'm insanely stoked for tomorrow.
Words cannot convey my enthusiasm.

It's a day I'll probably be making payments on for the next 6-10 weeks, but you wannaknowwhat?
I'm worth it.

I work damn hard for my money and If I want to spend what I don't have, then by god I'm going to.

I want some new patio chairs, a new book series and maybe some obnoxiously colored high heals.
Ya know, to make a girl feel pretty.

I wanna eat somewhere AWESOME and have a relaxing time doing so.
I wanna impulse buy and grieve over it later. I wanna be WILD and CRAZY. I wanna drive with the windows down and the sun shining and not give a FUCK about my hair with 80's butt rock blaring out of my car.
I wanna ride a pony and get tattooed with glitter and find a new lip gloss.

Tomorrow I've also been asked to referee a beer pong tournament being held at the local tavern.....

I'm reasonably sure I'll never get to see what heaven is like, but in my book, tomorrow is close enough.

Praying to a God that I don't believe in.

I'm trying to channel my inner sarcasticness.
I'm trying to squeeze whatever ounce of humor I can out of my body and in to this blog.
I can't.
Some things have happened.
Things that have left me feeling unappreciated, taken for granted and most of all, hurt.
I don't know what course of action I'm taking at the moment.
I feel like I'm stuck in between a rock and hard place.
Nothing feels like it's the "right" answer.
I feel lost.
I've spent a very long time and given my all to something I thought was better than what it turned out to be.
At least I know that I did give it my all, with mass amounts of heart to boot.
I've spent time defending you and standing up to people who said anything bad in your direction...
Maybe I should have just listened.




Can I borrow some body's "gut instinct"? Mine seems to have gone on vacation.